Zelda Boss Guide Tomo Style!
What’s up guys!? Been a while since I’ve done any kind of game guide. Now I know what you’re thinking, how can I possibly follow up my hugely popular 50 part Pokémon Guide? I know that only 2 got published but I never stopped writing! I’m only kidding (sort of). So let’s get started!
Before I get started with the meat of the guide (the actual bosses) there are some side quests that are worth knowing about.
Although not too important at the beginning of the game by the end having bottles becomes essential. There are a total of 4 bottles in the game, one of which you will need to get to progress through the game’s story (the one with Princess Ruto’s Letter is needed to help you get into the 3rd dungeon). So there are 3 bottles left to go!
For the first bottle go to Lon Lon Ranch as young Link and talk to Talon and he’ll ask you if you’d like to play a game. Thankfully it doesn’t sound as sinister coming from him as it does from Jigsaw. There are a lot of Cuccos (chickens) in the room and within the group there are three “super Cuccos” simply pick up the three super Cuccos within the time limit. When you pick one up try to throw it into a corner and keep doing that to try and stop you from picking up the same ones over and over again. Now I’m no Cuccos racist but they do all look the same…ahem… It costs 10 Rupees to play. Now if you don’t want a challenge or if you’re just a big cheat you can throw all the Cuccos behind the counter before you talk to Talon. Your reword (though not if you cheated you might as well have just stolen it) is a bottle of Lon Lon Milk! Just use the milk and you have an empty bottle.
The second bottle is found in Kakariko Village, again, as young Link. Talk to the woman near the entrance of the grave yard and she will tell you she has lost her 7 Cucco’s and she wants you to find them (god these things are a pain in the ass). I won’t go into where to find each one just some of the trickier ones. There is one in a box near the stairs that leads to the entrance to Death Mountan. Use a rolling attack to liberate the poor Cucco. There are some behind the high fence and to get there you need to jump from the highest point you can while holding a Cucco. When level with the top of the fence throw it and if you do it right you should be able to grab on to the top of the fence and climb over it toss the Cuccos over there and get back yourself. You’ll get an empty bottle for all your hard work.
The fourth bottle is the only one that adult Link can get and you’re going to need Epona and the Fairy Bow. While riding Epona across Hyrule Field, Big Poes might appear. When they do take them down with the Bow and capture it with a bottle and take it to the Poe salesman (you can find him in the house nearest the drawbridge near Castle Town). Do this a total of ten times to get the bottle.
So why did I get you to go through all that? Well it’s simple you can use bottles to collect things but they can also be used to hold potions or Lon Lon milk to replenish health or most importantly to hold fairies. All you have to do is keep a fairy in a jar and when you lose all your health you will be insantly revived with full health! It’s always good to go into a boss fight stocked up with fairies. I smell a segway!
Inside the Deku Tree
Boss: Queen Gohma
Fortunately the first boss of the game has a very predictable pattern, which makes dealing with her really easy! She looks quite threatening but she’s really…whatever the hell she’s supposed to be…ahem. All you have to do is shoot her in the eye with the Fairy Slingshot (A boss with a really obvious weak spot? Have you ever heard of such a thing?!). This will stun her, giving you the chance to hit her with your sword. After this she will spring up to the ceiling, it’s not worth trying to hit her up there besides you have other things to worry about. She’ll lay some eggs and you’ll want to take out the babies before the mother comes back. She’ll drop back down again and the process will repeat itself. See you didn’t need my help after all did you? …you did? Oh dear. This game isn’t going to be kind to you…
Boss: King Dodongo
Hey first a Queen and now a king, you don’t think they ever got it on do you- God that would have been one ugly ass baby (shiver). Alright when he starts charging his fire attack he leaves himself wide open to a bomb in the mouth(sexjoke). You can either use your own bombs or the bomb flowers scattered around the place. Being the cheap bastard I am I used the bomb flowers because they’re free. After he’s stunned hit him with your sword. He will then go into a rolling attack. You can doge him by getting really close to the corner of the lava (just try not to go into it) or try to get right into one of the corners where the bomb flowers are. If you are unable to get a bomb in his mouth and stop him from charging his attack you’ll have to deal with a giant fire ball of death, so watch out for that. Simply rinse and repeat this is Zelda 101 people.
Inside Jabu-Jabu’s Belly
God, you’d hate to have one of these inside you wouldn’t you? Oh god and just like that I’m reminded of Podcast 8. Start by using the Boomerang to hit the tentacles attaching it to the ceiling. It will then start to chase after you. Hit it with the Boomerang to stun it. Now you have to take down the jellyfish- Bari (the fanboys will be on my ass if I don’t use the right names) with the boomerang as well. Hit it with your sword until it starts to move again and watch out because it has a new electric attack. Keep stunning it with the boomerang and then use the sword to attack.
There is an optional side quest that lets you get an item that’s really useful for most of the game (only adult Link can do this quest). It is a slightly tedious quest but there’s no rush if you don’t want to complete the whole quest at once you don’t have to. It’s one big quest made out of lots of little fetch quests. You may be thinking that this may not be worth it but it is. Biggoron’s Sword is the most powerful sword in the game, it can deal twice the damage of the Master Sword, the only drawback is that you can’t use a shield if you’re using this sword. It’s recommended that before you begin you have Epona, optional things you may also want here are the Hookshot/Longshot and the Sun’s Song.
In Kakariko Village talk to the woman you helped out in the past (if you bothered to get her bottle). She’ll give you an egg. To hatch it either wait a day or play the Sun’s Song. Find the house that Talon is sleeping in and use your newly hatched Cucco to wake up the lazy sod. Go back to the woman and she’ll give you a blue Cucco. Take it to the Lost Woods, take a left from the entrance and talk to the man there. Give him the blue Cucco and in return he’ll give you a Mushroom. Now watch out the mushroom will spoil if not delivered within 3 minutes.
Your destination is back in Kakariko, I suggest you use Epona to get there for speed (although you should be using Epona to travel the field anyway for because it’s much faster than walking). When you get to the village go to the Potion shop and go out the back of it. There is another potion shop there, give the mushroom to the old hag. Don’t worry if you don’t make it in time you can retry as many times as you need, this is true for all the timed sections. She’ll give you a Potion, you’ll have to take it back to the Lost Woods. At least you’re not timed this time. Go to the same place where the man who gave you the mushroom was, he’s not there anymore (another victim of the Lost Woods) but give the potion to the person who is there and she gives you a saw.
It’s off to Gerudo Valley and if you’ve been there before and freed the carpenters all you have to do is cross the bridge. If this is your first time here you’ll have to either jump the gap with Epona or use the Hookshot/Longshot to get to the other side. Talk to the carpenter boss and give him the saw in return he’ll give you the Broken Goron’s Sword (sounds like we’re close to finishing doesn’t it? Well not really). Take the sword to the top of Death Mountain, if you have the Bolero of Fire song for the ocarina, use it as a short cut, if not it’s a long trek for you. When you reach the top go to the right (left if you’re coming out of the mountain) and Biggoron will appear. He’d love to fix the sword but he’s having eye problems. He’ll give you an Eye Drop Prescription.
Take it to Zora’s Domain. If you haven’t defrosted the King yet you’ll have to do so now. Go round the back where Jabu-Jabu was and make your was to the Ice Cavern. If you wish you can complete this dungeon now (you’ll have to do it eventually anyway to complete the story) but that’s not required to defrost the King. When you find a Blue Flame place some in a bottle and head back to the King, use the flame to defrost him. If you have already defrosted the King then you’re probably pretty pissed at having to read that part. Possibly this part too. Anyway when you give the King the prescription he’ll give you an Eyeball Frog, you have to get it to the scientist at Lake Hylia in less than 3 minutes, and don’t try to be clever and use the Serenade of Water, they frog will spoil if you do that.
This is it! The final item! The Scientist will give you the Eye Drops you have 4 minutes to get to the top of the mountain! I’m using a lot of exclamation marks!!!!When Biggoron gets his Eye Drops he says it will take 3 days to finish it. So you can either wait 3 days, or use the Sun’s Song 6 times. Congratulations, you now have the most powerful sword in the game!
The Forest Temple
Boss: Phantom Ganon
The first proper boss with Adult Link, this shouldn’t be too much hassle. At the start of the battle Phantom Ganon will jump into one of the paintings. Keep an eye out for which one he’s going to come out of and hit him with the Fairy Bow or Hookshot. Do this enough times and he’ll ditch the horse. He’ll then start to float around the room and fire a bolt of energy at Link. Time the swing of your sword right to send it flying back to him. Don’t drop your guard though, he could send it back! Keep going with this deadly game of tennis until he’s hit. At this point he’ll be stunned so what are you waiting for? Hit him with your sword! Dodge his staff attack because it can do about 3 hearts of damage. Keep this up and you should be alright.
It’s time to play whack-a-mole with a fire dragon. That’s pretty freakin’ cool. At the start of the battle Volvagia will dive into one of the 9 lava pits in the middle of the arena. Keep an eye out for any that bubble because he’ll pop his head out of that one. Hit him with the Megaton Hammer to stun him, if not done quickly enough then you risk being attacked by his claws. From time to time he will fly above the arena. Try to hit him with an arrow as quickly as possible as this will prevent him from breathing fire. He can also cause boulders to crash onto the arena. To protect Link either run around the arena or hang off the edge of it. As the fight continues multiple lava pits will bubble at once making it difficult to tell where he’ll appear. Continue stunning/attacking and you’ll be fine.
…remember in podcast 8 when a certain topic came up and we were all warned not to look it up under any circumstance? Well it’s basically this but Link would be naked…and probably a woman. If anyone is still reading let me tell you how to take care of this abomination. The key to this battle is to stick to the corners of the room as the tentacles don’t have that good of a reach (thank God). Use the Longshot to grab the core and then just beat on it. It will then try to get back into the pool, to simplify things try to pin it in the corner so you can attack it for longer. And stay out of the water for goodness sake.
Boss: Bongo Bongo
At the start of the battle equip the Iron Boots (some people prefer to use Hover Boots to each their own I guess) this will stop you from getting tossed about. You need to stun both hands with arrows. A good strategy is to watch both hands and when one makes it move to attack roll out of it’s way, and stun the non-attacking hand. Before the other hand can react hit it with an arrow as well. You now have the chance to hit Bongo Bongo’s eye. You should find Biggoron’s Sword useful in this battle as with repeated slashing you can take down the mighty beast after stunning it only twice.
This battle revolves around the Mirror Shield because of this it’s really easy to walk away from this fight without taking any damage. For the first part of the battle one sister will fire a beam of fire or ice (depending on which sister is attacking) Link must use the Mirror Shield to aim the beam at the other sister. They stop moving for this so it should be pretty straight forward. Do this a few times and then they will combine into something that doesn’t look half bad. The goal of the second part of the battle is to let the shield absorb 3 attacks of the same element this will then fire back at her making her vulnerable to sword strikes. Just watch that you don’t let the other element hit your shield before you get 3 of a kind because this will damage you. This is probably the easiest boss in the game, I think that’s why I like it so much.
Inside Ganon’s Castle
It’s the final showdown people! This is what we’ve been fighting towards this whole game. As soon as the battle begins DODGE! He starts the fight by punching the ground destroying some of the tiles on the floor. He will try to do this move every time you linger on the central platform, so don’t dawdle. His main attack is to throw an electric attack (much like Phantom Ganon before him) you know what to do here, keep sending it back to him as many times as it takes. This will stun him long enough to let you hit him with a Light Arrow which will make him drop onto the centre platform (you can’t lock on to him to help aim for this). You can now hit him with your sword (you can lock on for this part). Just keep doing this to win. Ganondorf has another attack that is quite difficult to dodge, you can either try a well timed spin attack or hit him with a Light Arrow before he’s finished charging. And that’s it, with Ganondorf defeated the kingdom is finally at peace-OH MY GOD WHAT THE HELL IS THAT THING!?
Final Boss: Ganon
It’s the final showdown people! This is what we’ve been fighting towards this whole game…no seriously this is the final final boss. It’ll be really helpful if you have Biggoron’s Sword because you lose the Master Sword at the start of the battle if not you may need to rely on the Megaton Hammer or Light Arrows. His weak point is his tail (I don’t know either). There are a few different ways to get to it, you can hit him in the face with a Light Arrow or you can roll through his legs. When Ganon collapses you’ll be able to get the Master Sword back. Master Sword in hand you’ll have to start all over again the same strategy applies. He will collapse one last time. Devilver the finishing blow and fulfil your destiny as the Hero of Time.
That’s it for another guide, I hope you all found it helpful but most of all I hope you all enjoyed the game! See you all next time.